By Keli Kirwin

Dear friend,

      Please believe that you deserve rest and care. Know that you are best able to care for others whenever your body and mind are rested 

       Allow your support team to help. Communicate your needs and expectations with your husband before the baby comes. Sit down together with pen and paper to decide who will be responsible for which tasks, consider every responsibility that will need to be covered. Agree on the length of this arrangement, remembering flexibility and the freedom to communicate and make adjustments that fit your family as the need arises. 

         Stay in touch with your care providers and communicate with them openly about your concerns. I mean it. 

         It is okay to let your husband parent while you rest or step away to take a breath. It is okay to call friends or family to ask for help (it doesn’t mean admitting incompetence). 

          You need to eat and you need to drink water. Keep water and snacks nearby. This is a good way your husband can support your recovery. 

           Please send me all the pictures you want. I promise to love them all and I promise not to get offended whenever you are too busy. I promise to love you and your family, to support you in whichever way best serves you; and to do so without judgment.

Much love, to my best friend.

P.S. Use sticky notes to remember things like- drink water!