By Jessica Wilkerson CPT, PN-1
I couldn’t find the original when I went back to look for it, but they talked about inviting friends to do things and being the friend that invites.
It hit me so hard because I am that friend that longs to be invited to things. This is even more true since having a baby.
I see my other mom friends posting things about going to events and out to explore and I always look at the posts like, I wish I could have gone with them. They take their kids to the zoo and they go to the aquarium, they go to new places and historical places… and while they have more than one kiddo and some of their kiddos are older, I still long to be there involved in the excitement.
I have come to the conclusion that I am just not good at finding events and different things to do. The original article I found talked about being the one to do the inviting… But half the time I am at a loss about what the heck to go and do!
I get discouraged when I think, ooh that event looks fun… but who in the world would want to go with me??
What I really need to do is just start texting everyone I know and see who would be able to go with me… But what I want others to realize also, is to take the initiative to invite someone that you might not think would want to go, or to invite someone even if you may think what you are doing is mundane or uninteresting.
I have a couple of girlfriends who homeschool their kids and they are ALWAYS doing fun or interesting things. I would LOVE to be invited to some of the things they do, and I have voiced that to them, and I understand when you are in the heat of things you might not always think about how someone else could benefit from where you are going or what you are doing.
I want to encourage you though, to maybe take that pause and think about which of your friends may want in on the experience… and it doesn’t even have to be extravagant or super well planned out.
Going on a day trip on a whim? Invite Her.
Taking your kids to the park in a few hours? Invite Her.
Making a Target run? Invite Her.
Going on a “field trip” with the homeschool group? Invite Her. (Especially if her kids are younger than school age, who knows, you may inspire her to homeschool later on.)
Zoo, Aquarium, Children’s Museum? Invite Her.
Day out exploring nature or going on a hike? Invite Her.
Brunch or shopping? Invite Her!
I can not tell you enough how much it would mean to me if I was invited to more things.
I have a friend that told me once, “I may not always go, but I want to know that I’m invited.” And you know what, I make sure I invite her, especially to non kid things, because I know she would benefit from that small break where she could be kid free… but like she said, she may not always go, so I don’t feel sad when she says she will pass on going or might be able to next time.
SHE WANTS TO FEEL WANTED. I WANT TO FEEL WANTED…
Especially so much by other ladies who look like their lives are planned out by the minute, and by the ladies who look like they have their whole life together, and by the ladies who sometimes let their kids take the lead and just simply have fun.
We WANT to be around you! We want to know how you always know what to do and we want to learn!
I truly believe that you are the sum of the 6 people you spend the most time with… Mom friends and single lady friends and older ladies who have much life experience.
Especially during these crazy times we are living in!! We all KNOW that isolation can be devastating. We crave that time together, even you introverts… As much as you might think otherwise, you need that human interaction.
There was another post on the Sister, I Am With You page where the author talked about the seven things she looks for in a friend. You know what!? They were simple, everyday things that we as women NEED.
They are themselves and they let me be myself. Authenticity.
Givers, not just takers.
They are not easily offended.
They don’t pretend. They don’t try to be perfect all the time.
They see the best in others and in life.
We can laugh together.
Read the whole thing by clicking on the link… See if there are any areas that you excel in, where do you need work? I know there are some that I need to work on for sure!
None of us are perfect, but all of us want to be wanted… All of us need to feel needed. I am no exception, and you my friend, neither are you.
I hope I inspired you to think about inviting someone you might not have thought about first off. I hope I inspired you to be the kind of friend you want in your life, and most of all… be a light in someone else’s life.
You never know, you might just be their saving grace.
Much love, Jessica Wilkerson