Positively Balanced Athletic Therapy

Keeping you active with elite care for all.

Jessica Wilkerson

Invite Her

Social Health

Recently I discovered an account on Facebook and Instagram called Sister, I Am With You and the initial post I read hit me hard! 

I couldn’t find the original when I went back to look for it, but they talked about inviting friends to do things and being the friend that invites. 

It hit me so hard because I am that friend that longs to be invited to things. This is even more true since having a baby. 

I see my other mom friends posting things about going to events and out to explore and I always look at the posts like, I wish I could have gone with them. They take their kids to the zoo and they go to the aquarium, they go to new places and historical places… and while they have more than one kiddo and some of their kiddos are older, I still long to be there involved in the excitement. 

I have come to the conclusion that I am just not good at finding events and different things to do. The original article I found talked about being the one to do the inviting… But half the time I am at a loss about what the heck to go and do!

I get discouraged when I think, ooh that event looks fun… but who in the world would want to go with me??

What I really need to do is just start texting everyone I know and see who would be able to go with me… But what I want others to realize also, is to take the initiative to invite someone that you might not think would want to go, or to invite someone even if you may think what you are doing is mundane or uninteresting. 

I have a couple of girlfriends who homeschool their kids and they are ALWAYS doing fun or interesting things. I would LOVE to be invited to some of the things they do, and I have voiced that to them, and I understand when you are in the heat of things you might not always think about how someone else could benefit from where you are going or what you are doing. 

I want to encourage you though, to maybe take that pause and think about which of your friends may want in on the experience… and it doesn’t even have to be extravagant or super well planned out.  

Going on a day trip on a whim? Invite Her.

Taking your kids to the park in a few hours? Invite Her.

Making a Target run? Invite Her.

Going on a “field trip” with the homeschool group? Invite Her. (Especially if her kids are younger than school age, who knows, you may inspire her to homeschool later on.)

Zoo, Aquarium, Children’s Museum? Invite Her.

Day out exploring nature or going on a hike? Invite Her.

Brunch or shopping? Invite Her!

I can not tell you enough how much it would mean to me if I was invited to more things. 

I have a friend that told me once, “I may not always go, but I want to know that I’m invited.” And you know what, I make sure I invite her, especially to non kid things, because I know she would benefit from that small break where she could be kid free… but like she said, she may not always go, so I don’t feel sad when she says she will pass on going or might be able to next time. 

SHE WANTS TO FEEL WANTED. I WANT TO FEEL WANTED…

Especially so much by other ladies who look like their lives are planned out by the minute, and by the ladies who look like they have their whole life together, and by the ladies who sometimes let their kids take the lead and just simply have fun.

We WANT to be around you! We want to know how you always know what to do and we want to learn! 

I truly believe that you are the sum of the 6 people you spend the most time with… Mom friends and single lady friends and older ladies who have much life experience. 

Especially during these crazy times we are living in!! We all KNOW that isolation can be devastating. We crave that time together, even you introverts… As much as you might think otherwise, you need that human interaction. 

There was another post on the Sister, I Am With You page where the author talked about the seven things she looks for in a friend. You know what!? They were simple, everyday things that we as women NEED. 

Advertisements

NO Judgement.

They are themselves and they let me be myself. Authenticity.

Givers, not just takers.

They are not easily offended.

They don’t pretend. They don’t try to be perfect all the time.

They see the best in others and in life.

We can laugh together.

Read the whole thing by clicking on the link… See if there are any areas that you excel in, where do you need work? I know there are some that I need to work on for sure!

None of us are perfect, but all of us want to be wanted… All of us need to feel needed. I am no exception, and you my friend, neither are you.

I hope I inspired you to think about inviting someone you might not have thought about first off. I hope I inspired you to be the kind of friend you want in your life, and most of all… be a light in someone else’s life. 

You never know, you might just be their saving grace.

Much love, Jessica Wilkerson

Loving Every Bit Of Yourself

Mental Health

Me walking past a mirror in the mall… 

“Oh heyyyyyyy! I’m totally feeling myself today!”

The hair is laying just right, the outfit I chose is giving me vibes of love for myself!
I can tell the work I’ve been putting in in the gym and in the kitchen are paying off, and I know that I can hit that goal if I just stick to it!

I feel light and bouncy amidst the world’s craziness. Sometimes I even get funny looks because I am smiling for no reason. 

SMILES SPREAD LOVE! 

And because I take the time to love every bit of myself, I feel like I have a slight advantage… not in a cocky or arrogant sense, but in the fact that I can pour into others. I can take care of my family, of my friends and even those I may not know very well.

What is self-care?

Self-care is any activity that we do deliberately in order to take care of our mental, emotional, and physical health. Although it’s a simple concept in theory, it’s something we very often overlook. Good self-care is key to improved mood and reduced anxiety. It’s also key to a good relationship with oneself and others. 

You say, well I take care of myself! But here are some things to consider when it comes to that self care, and taking the time to do the self care really implements that loving yourself aspect!

Ask…

Am I getting enough sleep at night? Is it a restful sleep?

How has my nutrition and exercise been? Do I need to sweat it out or stretch it out?

Am I taking time to reflect in a positive way on my day and ask myself what I can learn?

Am I saying yes to too many people/commitments?

When was the last time I laughed, I mean really belly laughed?

Do I need to have some time socializing? Or some quiet time by myself?

What actions/ tasks could I possibly delegate to someone else for a while?

Is it time to ask for help? (This could be at home, medically, spiritually, psychologically, etc.)

Do I need a change of pace or change of scenery? 

Are there unresolved issues that could be getting in the way of me living my best life?

If by chance you answered yes to any one of these, it might be time to pause and look at what you need to do in order to love yourself the best.

When I feel like I need a pause, I take some time to sit in my thoughts. I realize this may be hard for some of you, but give it a chance. 

Sit with nature if possible and just close your eyes. Start by tuning into your breath. Notice that audible inhale and exhale… feel your chest rise and fall and maybe even start to count your breath. Inhale, 1. Exhale, 2. Inhale, 3. Exhale, 4… all the way to ten and then start over if you need to. But if you get to ten and you feel calm and your thoughts feel free then this is where you want to be.

Once you get to your calm, take time to think about the questions above. If one particularly resonates with you, then stay there a while. Work through the feelings that come up, give yourself permission to FEEL the emotions to their depth.

Then ask yourself, “If I could resolve this issue and have the outcome be exactly what I desire, what would that look like? How would it feel? What things would I hear from others about this new outcome?” And then envision it happening. Not just once, but feel it and see it over and over again until it’s ingrained in your mind.

The very first step to loving yourself is to recognize that there is something that can be improved upon. It doesn’t mean you are flawed, no not by any means! It means you see that you have weaknesses. It means you can learn to use those weaknesses to your advantage. I encourage you, if you don’t know much about your personality to take the time to get to know yourself a little deeper. 

I know finding out my weaknesses helped me to also realize that there were a couple of places I needed to make changes in my life! It’s so important to spend time alone. It’s so important to love yourself, because most of all it will help you pour into others and allow you to guide those you love most into loving you at their best as well! 

The Unspoken Language Everyone Speaks

Mental Health, Social Health

Have you ever traveled to a foreign country for vacation where you didn’t speak the language? When you communicated with people there, did you feel slightly misunderstood?

Have you ever felt that way speaking to your family at home?

If you have you’re not alone. There’s an unspoken language that everyone speaks.

Love Languages.

In his book, The Five Love Languages (which is a wonderful and easy read), Gary Chapman describes the five love languages as, Physical Touch, Acts of Service, Words of Affirmation, Quality Time, and Receiving Gifts. 

Each of these languages give life to a person if you can figure out what category that person falls into. Chapman refers to this as a person’s “Love Tank.” Think of it like the gas tank on your car. If it is full, your car can go a long way. If it is empty your car will not go very far. The same goes for someone’s love tank.

If a person’s love tank is full, they will be happy, full of life, and willing to give love back. However, if their love tank is empty, they may feel resentful, be stressed, or angry with the person who is supposed to be the one filling their love tank.

Love tanks do not simply get filled on their own. They are filled by those around us. The people around us speak in different love languages. So not only do you receive love in a specific language, but you also give love in a specific language. 

Once you understand how you speak love, and also how you receive it, you will be much more well equipped to live happily with those around you. 

Let’s take a moment to briefly examine each love language.

Physical Touch – To this person, nothing speaks more deeply than appropriate touch.

Quality Time – This language is all about giving the other person your attention.

Receiving Gifts – For some people, what makes them feel most loved is to receive a gift.

Acts of Service – For these people, actions speak louder than words.

Words of Affirmation – This language uses words to affirm other people. 

Do any of those sound like ways that you like to be loved? If you’re unsure, you can find out your primary love language by taking this quiz! Once you figure out what your love language is, you will know how to specifically ask to be loved. 

Say for example your love language is Acts of Service, you might get a little rush of warmth when someone takes out the trash without being asked (keywords here.) Or, if your husband was to take your car and fill the gas tank on a whim, you might feel especially loved. 

Now that you’re equipped with the knowledge of how to ask others to love you, you’ll want to find out how you can best love others.

There are several quizzes on the website to help you find the love languages of your significant other, your children, and even your teens.

I encourage you to take the quizzes together and talk about love languages as a family unit. This way everyone is equipped with the knowledge of how to speak love to each individual person. 

You may be thinking, this is great and all, but we love just fine at my house. While this may be true, have you or any of your family members ever been cranky or upset and you just can’t pinpoint why? Or have you ever heard from your husband, “I work so hard for this family but I don’t feel appreciated when I get home.” 

These could be signals that someone’s love tank is running on E.

I know personally when my husband comes home, I want him to seek me out and give me a hug and kiss first thing! Can you guess what my love language is?

If you guessed Physical Touch, you would be correct!! I feel especially loved when I get a hug and kiss goodbye, and a hug and kiss hello! Not to mention I love to be snuggled up next my hubby on the couch and snuggles with my little man more than anything else. But, I also have a secondary love language, Quality Time.

You may also find that you have more than one love language, and that’s where things can get a little tricky. My husband, bless him, speaks love by giving gifts. In the beginning of our relationship he would buy me things and I would simply say thank you… probably coming off as a little bit ungrateful of his thoughtfulness in his eyes. But it was because receiving gifts is dead last on my list of languages.

Once we figured out what each other’s love languages were, oh man did things change! Even though my husband speaks love through gift giving, he receives it through Acts of Service. So when he comes home after working hard all day to a clean, not cluttered house, and laundry put away… You guessed it! He feels especially loved.

I love being able to provide him with that little boost of juice in his love tank. I will admit for me, some days it’s entirely draining to keep up with the house, and thankfully my husband understands this. But when I am able to keep up with everything, it’s so nice to see a look of peace on his face, and his entire mood is relaxed for the rest of the night.

If you would like to learn more about the 5 Love Languages I would encourage you to first go to the website and take the quiz, and then hop on over to Amazon (The 5 Love Languages: The Secret to Love that Lasts use this link to get it on sale!) and purchase the book to read! As I said in the beginning, it’s a fun and easy read, and I hope you are able to take any points away from it. I would love to hear what your love language is and if it was a surprise to you! 

More Content