With Valentine’s Day approaching it got me thinking about love. More specifically, self-love. Not the commercialized “TREAT YO SELF” kind of ‘self-care’ that may potentially leave you with buyer’s remorse, but the kind that at times can be difficult and hard to face. The kind that requires work, patience, vulnerability, humility, and honesty with yourself. That REAL self-love, you know that I’m sayin’? And if you don’t then I’m so happy you’re taking a moment to read this article. I had a best gal pal give me a book by Anuschka Rees called “Beyond Beautiful – A Practical Guide to Being Happy, Confident, and You in a Looks-Obsessed World” that was accompanied by the sweetest love note a friend could write. This book dives into body image, self-perception, and being more than a body. Link to the book.
Honestly, the book (and my friends sweet note) had come at a perfect time and continues to do so. And why you might ask? Because, “Feeling good about yourself is a basic human need. We all have an internal self-worth barometer that’s constantly being fed with new information from our brain and recalibrating exactly how good we feel about ourselves at any given moment.”
Self-love is like a garden that needs constant tending to.
For example: The other day I turned on my Nike Training Club app to start a quick 30 minute HITT workout. About 10 minutes in I decided to pause my workout and drop down onto my mat into a child’s pose. I was listening to my body and came to the conclusion that I was judging myself because I didn’t feel present in my body. I was stuck in my head (Do you ever feel this way?).. But why? I had a quote by Cleo Wade stuck in my head, “We Honor The Dream By Doing The Work”.
I wanted to feel present in my body, but I was stuck in my head asking myself “Am I doing the work?!” Instead of going through the motions to make it feel like I was “doing the work” it was time to turn inward to practice self-inquiry and ask myself:
- What are things or experiences that keep me fueled and motivated to honor my dream?
- What actions can I take to find balance to cultivate these things or experiences?
- How can I fill my cup so that I can be there for myself and others?
Take this as your self-love sign and ask yourself these questions, bust out a journal, or even come up with your own self-inquiry questions. Please use this as a tool to start a conversation with yourself, others around you, or even on this article.
“If you don’t love yourself, how in the hell you gonna love somebody else?
-Ru Paul
