Mental Health

Set Goals, Not Resolutions

Every New Year is usually the same. We make unreasonable or even unattainable goals, mostly dealing with our weight. While keeping a healthy weight is advisable to avoid other health issues, New Year’s resolutions don’t always have to be concerned with such goals. The term “resolution” seems to connotate a temporary objective. Instead, let’s refer to them as goals. Goals, for many, is a mindful intention, something achievable and with an end in sight. While some of your goals may be an ongoing activity, reaching that goal gives you something to work towards. Below are some ideas for achievable intentions:

Get healthy. While this is a lofty goal there are some solid ideas behind it. Consider what it means to you to get healthy. Does it require some weight loss? Do you want to run a half marathon this summer? Do you need to take more self-care by having a de-stressing hour each day?
More self-care. In our workaholic society, we’re driven to keep slogging away in the proverbial rat race. Our society sees downtime as selfish while working 50+ hours a week is admirable. This concept is just plain unhealthy. While some may not be able to trim back their work hours due to finances, if you’re able, try taking more time for yourself. Create a goal to read 1 book a month, or try out a new wine. Explore more leisurely activities to give your body and soul some much-needed rest. Even consider some time out in nature. Studies have shown that spending some time outside not only helps us destress, but can also help with coping with pain. (How Does Nature Impact Our Wellbeing?, n.d.)
Try new things. Expanding our horizons livens up our lives in so many ways. By trying a new hobby, a new art project, or even meeting new people aid in reducing cognitive decline. Experiencing new activities or learning a new language helps create new connections to brain cells, thus effectively slowing down the decline. (Harvard Health, 2015)
Meet new people. As stated earlier, even meeting new people, making new friends improves brain function, but did you know that scientists found it to increase your lifespan? Research has found that being social decreases an inflammatory factor that is associated with many health issues such as cardiovascular disease and some forms of cancer, among others. (Research Suggests a Positive Correlation between Social Interaction and Health, n.d.) Even getting a new furry buddy such as a cat or dog, has been known to reduce systolic blood pressure.

Now that you have some ideas of what to focus on, how do you tackle this daunting task? Many of us make New Year’s resolutions, but did you know that by February, 80% of those goals fail? (Luciani, 2015) Rather than set yourself up for failure, try these tips below:

Make a plan. What do you want to accomplish? Write down those goals. This way, you can take each one and truly make them workable for you. Know what you really want and\or need.
Take one of your goals and break it down into smaller bites. If you want to get physically fit, don’t make a challenging goal of doing cardio 6 days a week. Build up to something more realistic and feasible. Try breaking it down to a 15-minute walk every other day. Then gradually build up to every day. Then increase the intensity slowly. This not only makes your goal reachable but helps reduce the likelihood of stress or strain.
Focus on one goal at a time. Rather than trying to completely overhaul your physical and mental health, pick 1 goal, the most important to you, and focus on it. Setting a goal as “to get healthy” is too vague and will likely fail as you flounder around trying to do it all without any real direction. With 1 goal in mind, devote your energies to it. Once you’ve achieved this goal, only then should you try to attempt another.
Find a support system. Whether you want to quit smoking, shed a few pounds, or read 25 books in a year, find some friends or family that you can talk to about your goals. Find people who will support you, listen to you, and lift you up when you feel you’re failing. Even ask them to join you on your quest. A support system that works together is far more likely to succeed than you being the lone wolf. (And no, misery does not love company, but cheerleading sure is more uplifting with a group.)
Forgive yourself. If you’re having problems meeting that goal, or feel you’ve completely failed, don’t beat yourself up about it. Don’t look at any “backsliding” as a failure, but as a lesson to learn from. What an excellent opportunity to learn more about yourself and your support group. Failure is only an opportunity to learn and grow, not true failure.

No matter what you focus on in the new year, know that any care for your wellbeing both physically and mentally is a good thing. If we don’t take care of ourselves, then who will? Take charge of your life, your health, and your happiness.

If we don’t take care of ourselves, then who will? Take charge of your life, your health, and your happiness. – Lisa Mildon

References How Does Nature Impact Our Wellbeing? (n.d.). Taking Charge of Your Health & Wellbeing. Retrieved January 14, 2020, from https://www.takingcharge.csh.umn.edu/how-does-nature-impact-our-wellbeing Luciani, J. (2015, December 29). Why 80 Percent of New Year’s Resolutions Fail. US News & World Report. https://health.usnews.com/health-news/blogs/eat-run/articles/2015-12-29/why-80-percent-of-new-years-resolutions-fail Harvard Health. (2015, December). Rev up your thinking skills by trying something new. Harvard Health. https://www.health.harvard.edu/healthy-aging/rev-up-your-thinking-skills-by-trying-something-new Research Suggests a Positive Correlation between Social Interaction and Health. (n.d.). National Institute on Aging. Retrieved January 14, 2020, from https://www.nia.nih.gov/about/living-long-well-21st-century-strategic-directions-research-aging/research-suggests-positive

Why Self-Care Should Always Be Non-Negotiable

Mental Health, Physical Health

Self-care is never a selfish act—it is simply good stewardship of the only gift I have…

Parker Palmer

When our kids were little, I discovered a key difference in my husband’s and my parenting styles. I like to call this difference, “You First versus Me First.” It first became apparent to me in the kitchen: I always fed our children first, then myself. My husband, though, always fed himself first before feeding the screaming kids.

Was he immune to those screams? I certainly wasn’t, and I wanted the screaming to stop. Whatever was causing the screaming needed to be addressed. Right away.

My husband’s “Me First” behavior extended to many facets of daily life. He got up every morning at 6:00 am and headed to the gym for his daily one-hour workout. That never changed for him. In our life BC (Before Children), I went too. But, breastfeeding and caring for a newborn took precedence over my morning exercise routine.

Now that the kids are older, he still heads to the gym every day at 6:00 am. I also get up at 6:00, but my morning is vastly different: I get breakfasts and lunches sorted out, get the kids up for school, and drive them to school if needed. My workout doesn’t always happen; if it does, it’s squeezed in between other family commitments.

I once remarked on this difference to a friend. Her response? “Of course, they put their needs first. That’s how men are wired. Women, on the other hand, are wired to take care of their own needs AFTER everyone else’s needs have been met.”

When you’re caring for loved ones, it’s easy to let your own needs take a back seat. There are, after all, only so many hours in a day. But what happens if you neglect your own health? Your body starts to break down – you get sick, you get injured, you get stressed out. And then, how can you care for others? You can’t. Upon reflection, I noticed that my husband didn’t get sick, stressed out, or injured as often as me.

When you’re traveling by plane, the in-flight safety briefing instructs passengers to don their own oxygen mask before they help others with theirs. You’re no good to anyone if you pass out. And the same goes for life on the ground. You need to be strong and healthy—for yourself and for your loved ones.

One place I’ve seen women’s needs take a significant second place to their loved ones’ is physical activity. According to the World Health Organization, physical inactivity has been identified as the fourth leading risk factor for global mortality, behind high blood pressure, tobacco use, and high blood sugar. [link: http://www.who.int/topics/physical_activity/en/]

Physical inactivity is not the polar opposite of physical activity—it’s not an “all or nothing” endeavor. Physical activity lies on a continuum and much of what we do on a daily basis qualifies as physical activity. Just because you can’t make it to the gym doesn’t mean you can’t be active. Rethink your activity levels: Go for a walk, play with your kids/grandkids, clean the house, garden. You get the idea. If you move more, you will feel better.

I don’t want you to stress out, thinking about how to try and incorporate physical activity into your day. But I would like you to pause for five minutes and think about a typical day. Using a piece of paper or your phone, jot down what exactly keeps you busy during your waking hours. Think in terms of 20 or 30 minute increments and write down your activities.

Breaking down your day allows you to understand where you can add those nuggets of movement—or snacks of exercise—to get you moving more. Let me give you an example of how it helped a woman I worked with a few years ago: She discovered that after driving her daughter to hockey practice, she usually sat in the stands for the next hour. She realized, instead of sitting for an hour, she could walk around inside the arena on cold days, and walk outside on warmer days. She told me that their drive home after practice became less stressful because she felt better and she was able to cope better with the rush-hour traffic.

That’s why I created The Move More Institute™. It’s an initiative to promote healthy active living by adding more movement to individual’s daily lives. The Move More Institute™ nudges them to be more active throughout the day. Natural, non-exercise activity spread across the day. Every day. I’m a fitness professional with a radical idea: Don’t exercise! Just move more!

I’ve delivered this message to countless women and men through workshops, private training, and my books. It’s not rocket science that I’m teaching, just practical, common sense solutions that work with our busy lives. Here’s what a few of them have said about my message to move more:

“After way too many years of not moving enough, Amanda has helped me to get moving again and to be mindful of it in my daily life. What a difference it is making.”

“Hi Amanda! I took your advice and went on a power walk at lunch! I had been working on end of month reports and needed to get my blood & heart pumping as I was getting sluggish. I feel so alive again!”

So, before you let your own needs slide into the back seat, think about the long-term viability of your current whirlwind existence. Then take a deep breath, get out a piece of paper, and write down two to three things you can do for your own health: Take a nap. Go for a walk. Read a book. Meet a friend. Laugh out loud. You know, things just for you.

Did you notice what I did there? Although movement and physical activity are listed, they’re not first. As much as I would love everyone to move more and feel better, I recognize that self-care works best when the individual chooses options that work best for them.

Juggling Multiple Roles in Our Modern World

Mental Health, Occupational Health

Five years ago, I wrote a blog post about the sandwich generation, highlighting the stress that people—mostly women—feel when supporting both parents and children. As a mother with aging parents, I felt the squeeze of competing responsibilities between my children’s needs and parental needs, both mine and my husband’s. Burnout is a very real concept that many adults experience, particularly those who are juggling an unpaid role as caregiver along with the other roles in their life.(1) I’m not telling you about that article to toot my own horn; rather, I’m speaking of it to explain to you how wrong I was with what I wrote. A few years after posting it, I experienced my “aha” moment; it happened when I was chatting with a friend. You see, although she didn’t have children, she was still experiencing a similar level of burnout. I realized that, in only discussing a generational sandwich, I was taking women with no children completely out of the conversation.

Instead of framing it as burnout based on competing caregiver roles, which implies being a child and having children of your own, I now view it as the sandwich of roles, or the multi-role rolls. In my mind, there are two distinct challenges with role rivalry: the adult you versus the child you, and the public you versus the private you.

Adult You Vs. Child You

Even if you don’t have children, you are a child yourself. Someone conceived you, gave birth to you, and raised you into the adult you are today. If one or both of your parents are still alive, you’re an adult child. You’re also an adult, with your own adult life, interests, and responsibilities. Sometimes—often, for many of us—the demands of these two roles butt heads.

Of course you love your parent(s) and you want to be there for them in their golden years. I’m not here to question your commitment to your loved ones. I can tell you from personal experience, though, that helping your aging parents can shuffle you back into childhood behavioural patterns. Think about it: you’re dealing with grownup issues—medical requirements, housing needs, etc—with the people who raised you to be the grown up you are today. However, their exposure to your behaviour happened during your formative years, not now, as a fully-formed adult. They may unwittingly treat you as they did your child self, which can trigger you to respond as your child self, thus slipping into old behavior. If you have children of your own, it can be like having a second set of teenagers, and neither set listens to you. Fun stuff.

Public You Vs. Private You

If your parents are no longer with us, that is, you’re no longer playing the adult child role, there are still competing roles within your life. The list can include: employee or employer, spouse, sibling, parent, friend. I know I’m just scratching the surface with this list of potential roles, and you may have a few (or many!) others that I haven’t listed. It’s still a multitude of roles that also require you to commit your precious time and energy to them.

Whether you live to work or work to live, the biggest struggle for your time will be work-life balance. This tension includes the competing demands of:

home life being like a second job,
caregiving for aging loved ones and/or children of your own, and
not being able to completely unplug from work (email especially).(2)

Home versus work is a big one, overwhelming even the most resilient person when work commitments bleed into personal time. There’s only so much space on your plate, and trying to juggle these multiple roles may make you feel like a multigrain, multi-role roll being squished to its limits. Anyone who’s ever sent or received a work email outside of regular business hours can attest to the fact that technology can be both a burden and a boon to burnout.

“Home versus work is a big one, overwhelming even the most resilient person when work commitments bleed into personal time. There’s only so much space on your plate, and trying to juggle these multiple roles may make you feel like a multigrain, multi-role roll being squished to its limits. “ -Amanda Sterczyk MA, CPT

Telling people to “just unplug” is not realistic. You may need to stay connected for emergencies, in some cases online support groups offer respite and relief/encouragement, some people genuinely derive pleasure from being online (enjoy unwinding by catching up with friends and family in other cities), it’s a way to stay connected in our increasingly isolated existence (eg, many people move away from their childhood homes and families for work). Bottom line, different things work for different people.

I can’t tell you how to take care of your needs. What I can do is offer some possibilities, and share what has helped me. In essence, I learned to say no to others in order to say yes to myself:

I put my business on the shelf.
I took a part-time job.
I regularly pull back on social media.
At least once a week, I reassess my priorities.
When I’m feeling overwhelmed, I step back and take a break.
I go for walks.

If you’ve reached the end of your rope, the following list provides ideas to help you get back on track. (3)

Talk. Tell people around you that you’re struggling.
Outsource. Ask for help or hire someone to help.
Move. Physical activity will boost your mood.
Review and Reassess. Can you change jobs or change how you do your job?
Eat. What you put in your mouth can impact both your energy and your mood.

Life is complicated, and that’s not going to change. You do have the power to change how you approach life, and how you respond to it’s complications.

References:

Image source: Amanda Sterczyk

More about Amanda: Amanda Sterczyk is an international author and personal trainer based in Ottawa, Canada. In 2016, she founded The Move More Institute™, an initiative to promote healthy active living and teach individuals how to sneak exercise into their daily lives. Her slogan is “Move more, feel better.”

Check out her website at: https://www.amandasterczyk.com/?fbclid=IwAR3QZYcRpjV89I94Jlz4F2KeBvkte-rO69W90cYhZm-tG2XrbUkMdLusoUI

Check out her latest book!

Originally published: 1/6/2020

Vulnerability

Mental Health, Social Health, Spiritual Health

Vulnerability: Probably one of the hardest qualities to obtain; and to most people it is probably a negative quality to have. In my opinion, I think it is one of the greatest assets a person can have. So, what exactly is “being vulnerable”? To me, being vulnerable is being your most authentic self, no matter what situation you are in. To expose yourself emotionally and show your true self.

You are probably thinking that you do that all the time, but look deep down and really ask yourself, is that a mantra you live by? If the answer is no, don’t worry, you are not alone. Being vulnerable is a lot harder than it seems and it is especially for women because we are constantly criticized for how we look and act. Society has us pictured a certain way for us to live by, but in reality we are all different and there’s no rule book to follow. We are our own worst critic, always comparing ourselves to others and how we perceive their lives (majorly through social media).

We are always trying to act and be the way we think society and others want us to act. “Not being 100%” is uncommon or frowned upon. That puts a toll on our mental health, self esteem, and our body in general. Changing our mindset and trying to be vulnerable is a job in and of itself. You are opening and exposing your true light…which is scary because others may not perceive it the same way as you; but it is a leap that should be taken to make great human connections.

I did not always think this way though. I was a very self conscious individual, always worried about everyone liking me and changing myself to fit in with the people I was around. I was on social media comparing myself and thinking I would be happier if I had what they had, but never thought to search within myself and observe what I had and what I was taking for granted. I felt lost. I had graduated from college two years prior and thought I had to live my life a certain way to be accepted into adulthood, I was not happy with my day to day lifestyle, and was always looking to Instagram to envy the life of my followers. I didn’t know who I was, there wasn’t anything defining or interesting about me. I developed depression and anxiety and could not figure out a way out.

I had the opportunity to attend Camp Kulabunga: a camp put on by Grant Kwiecinski (aka GRiZ) and his friends in Michigan that focuses on self empowerment and community. This retreat changed my life and how I live it. I realized what I wanted to do with the rest of my life and feel complete once again. One of the biggest takeaways I learned was the positive outcomes from being my true self: being vulnerable to others and how to shed that light to others around me. I met the most genuine people that turned into family and made the most authentic connections I have in my lifetime, even though it was only 4 days. I was able to open up without the fear of being judged, and in turn was able to hear other people’s stories.

Being vulnerable is like a domino effect, once you can be vulnerable to someone, they in turn will feel more comfortable to do the same. It is taking that leap to start it and see the ripple effect. In most cases, you are not alone. During my time at Camp Kulabunga, I heard so many stories that I related to and made me realize that my insecurity or fear is very common among others. It was so nice to talk to someone with the same issue and work through it together and to know I have someone to fall back to if and when i needed it. It’s ok to not be ok!

“Being vulnerable is like a domino effect, once you can be vulnerable to someone, they in turn will feel more comfortable to do the same. It is taking that leap to start it and see the ripple effect. In most cases, you are not alone.”

-Isabela Collins ATC

Once you are vulnerable with someone, it connects us on a deeper level. Once I started exposing myself emotionally to friends I have known for years, our relationship flourished. I noticed how close we got in the last couple months than we ever had been in the 5+ years we have known each other. I appreciate our friendship and the relationship we established because of how deep it goes. It’s not all small talk and going out/drinking, it’s about being there for each other and seeing each other flourish and grow.

There are so many positive aspects of vulnerability that we don’t realize because of the negative stigma it has to the name. Being vulnerable takes courage, but the outcome outweighs the risk. Next time you are having a conversation with someone and they ask you how you are, try not to say “good”, show yourself and have that meaningful conversation I know you are dying to have!

Note: “Camp Kulabunga is not a music festival. It is a sober, tech free event for personal exploration and community. To check out GRiZ and more information on Camp Kulabunga, visit @griz and @campkulabunga on Twitter, Facebook, and Instagram.

Juggling Multiple Roles in Our Modern World

Mental Health, Occupational Health

I’m not telling you about that article to toot my own horn; rather, I’m speaking of it to explain to you how wrong I was with what I wrote. A few years after posting it, I experienced my “aha” moment; it happened when I was chatting with a friend. You see, although she didn’t have children, she was still experiencing a similar level of burnout. I realized that, in only discussing a generational sandwich, I was taking women with no children completely out of the conversation.

Adult You Vs. Child You

Public You Vs. Private You

Whether you live to work or work to live, the biggest struggle for your time will be work-life balance. This tension includes the competing demands of:

home life being like a second job,
caregiving for aging loved ones and/or children of your own, and
not being able to completely unplug from work (email especially).(2)

“Home versus work is a big one, overwhelming even the most resilient person when work commitments bleed into personal time. There’s only so much space on your plate, and trying to juggle these multiple roles may make you feel like a multigrain, multi-role roll being squished to its limits. “

-Amanda Sterczyk MA, CPT

I can’t tell you how to take care of your needs. What I can do is offer some possibilities, and share what has helped me. In essence, I learned to say no to others in order to say yes to myself:

I put my business on the shelf.
I took a part-time job.
I regularly pull back on social media.
At least once a week, I reassess my priorities.
When I’m feeling overwhelmed, I step back and take a break.
I go for walks.

If you’ve reached the end of your rope, the following list provides ideas to help you get back on track. (3)

Talk. Tell people around you that you’re struggling.
Outsource. Ask for help or hire someone to help.
Move. Physical activity will boost your mood.
Review and Reassess. Can you change jobs or change how you do your job?
Eat. What you put in your mouth can impact both your energy and your mood.

Life is complicated, and that’s not going to change. You do have the power to change how you approach life, and how you respond to it’s complications.

References:

Check out her website at: https://www.amandasterczyk.com/?fbclid=IwAR3QZYcRpjV89I94Jlz4F2KeBvkte-rO69W90cYhZm-tG2XrbUkMdLusoUI Check out her latest book!

The Origin Story

Financial Health, Intellectual Health, Mental Health, Occupational Health, Physical Health, Sexual Health, Social Health, Spiritual Health

Everyone loves a good origin story, right? From superheroes, world leaders, actors, and to all the influencers of old, we can always trace their history back. So, here’s a Positively Balanced Origin Story: Why we are here today, and how we are bridging the gap in women’s health.

Positively Balanced was founded right when I graduated from undergraduate school. I knew I wanted to create something that meant we aren’t going to be positive all the time, but we can be hopeful for better days. I also wanted a statement that highlighted the aspect of balance in our lives that isn’t always perfectly balanced.

So Positively Balanced was born. For 3 years it was a way for me to share my position of health, fitness, education, class schedule and events. However, I knew Positively Balanced would be something bigger, I just didn’t know quite what it was yet.

A few events started to cause a shift in the direction of Positively Balanced. A friend came to me in search of information on infertility, another with questions about menopause, and then another about postpartum exercise and lifestyle. Each time, I had the same answer: “I’m not sure, but let me do some research on who might know and also how I can help. So my love for women’s health began. I enrolled in and attended courses and seminars. I read books and did the research.

As I did my deep dive into the works of women’s health, I began to notice a significant lack of knowledge, education, and resources for women.

There were some resources and some research; however there are still huge gaps in so many areas and aspects.

Then, I found out I was going to be having a baby and it took my love to new heights. I began to experience first hand the lack of support, lack of resources and knowledge and the consequences of such. It was like adding fuel to a fire.

This past year, I became so passionate, I shut my business down for 6 months just to focus on what it was I could actually do to make a difference. I graduated with my master’s degree and began working as a women’s health athletic trainer specializing in pre and postpartum health, as well as rehab performance exercise. I saw all types of patients, but my focus and study took me into the women’s health realm.

I realized that women’s health was the evolution that Positively Balanced was meant for, the work had to be done. I remember telling my good friend about these crazy ideas I had during one of our walks. After I babbled for a good while, she looked at me and said “Well then, why don’t you do it?!”

The Be HEaRd Women’s Health Platform was formed. I only remember posting about searching for contributors twice on social media. Within a week, I had so much interest I knew we were destined for greatness.

Starting in January 2020, you will have over 20 founding contributors (we call ourselves HEaRd), writing to you along with a few special guests popping in here and there. We will provide you with honest, current, and relevant articles that cover a variety of dimensions of health.

Our goal is to “Bridge the Gap” in Women’s Health. The gap between generations, research and application, The gap between the phases of life, and so much more.

Women’s health platform is starting the conversations, empowering women with knowledge and supporting you with a wonderful community!

(The dimensions of health is something we will discuss in the Founder’s Note each month, and if you are interested in learning more sign up to be placed on a preorder list of my short ebook coming out soon.)

PS: Stay tuned for more information on and WHY we are HEaRd!

Thanks for joining us on this adventure,

Cassandra McCoy MS, ATC, LAT
Founder of Positively Balanced LLC

Set Goals, Not Resolutions

Why Self-Care Should Always Be Non-Negotiable

Juggling Multiple Roles in Our Modern World

Juggling Multiple Roles in Our Modern World

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